I am either remediless or the remedy itself!

Sibel – Hakan PERDECİ – May 2005

My husband and I decided to have a baby immediately after we got married. Although we didn’t use protection for an entire year, we did not get pregnant.During that time we were living in Ankara. We immediately went to a doctor and had many tests done. My husband was diagnosed with varicocele and had an operation. We were told everything was okay but still we didn’t get pregnant.We took more tests and were informed that I was allergic to sperm. I took cortisone and gained weight; I went from 54 to 85 kilograms. This was the worst period of my life. Hair grew all over my body. Meanwhile, I went to see another doctor at an infertility clinic. The doctor told me I should not take so much cortisone. This made me very upset. Many more analyses and tests were performed.

In September 1994, I underwent a laparoscopy and was told that my only chance of having a baby was through IVF. In those years, IVF was not very well known. In fact, this idea seemed far-fetched. We moved to Istanbul in 1995. I was still going to Ankara to visit my doctor regularly. Meanwhile, we tried insemination four or five times. Finally we decided on IVF.However, we were informed that a sufficient number of eggs could not be obtained and we tried insemination once again. At that time, this kind of treatment was long and difficult and you had to endure hundreds of injections. I produced 6 eggs on my first IVF attempt. However, they once more said that the eggs were of low quality. We tried the IVF method four to five times. Each time, either a sufficient number of eggs weren’t produced or the embryos were of low quality. We even tried medications that we had purchased abroad.In 1998, we tried once more and failed again. Again, two to three eggs… And again a negative result! I was really worn out and tired. In addition, we spent so much money. I took a break in my journey to motherhood and decided to recover both mentally and financially.Because of these treatments we had not been able to acquire a house of our own yet.

I NEVER LOST MY HOPE AGAINST ALL ODDS

We entered 2001. My husband and I went on a trip. We were now refreshed and I was feeling good. Then my period was late. I wanted to think I might be pregnant but I knew that this was impossible. I went to the doctor and he said there was a cyst. I took some medication.I still didn’t get my period. The doctor said that this was related to the cyst. There was still something wrong. I had a Beta HCG – pregnancy – test done and the result was 3441. I will never forget this number! The doctor told me that I was pregnant. The value increased to 3448. We could not believe it, of course. My doctor in Ankara recommended another doctor to me in Istanbul. was shocked. My doctor told me, “You are an extraordinary case.”The next morning, I experienced some bleeding. Shock, again. Then an awful abdominal pain and nausea. During the examination, the sac was seen but not the baby. I had a miscarriage with heavy bleeding. My doctor in Ankara called me and said, “Every pregnancy is a chance, even if it ends in miscarriage. This means that you can get pregnant.”

I was very upset, so I took a break once more.

In November 2002, my husband was away on a trip. I was preparing to go to Ankara. I felt an awful abdominal pain, nausea, etc. I was told that it might be food poisoning, but I was advised to see a gynecologist.I went to GATA. They told me that these pains were caused by endometriosis. Blood was collecting within my abdominal cavity. The cysts had burst and I had been walking around bleeding inside for 3 days. I had an operation the very same night. The first thing that came to my mind was my ovaries and I asked, “Will you remove my ovaries?” The doctor told me I had not a single minute to wait and that my life was at risk. I had neither my relatives nor my husband with me. My friends brought me to the hospital. I begged them, “Don’t remove my ovaries.” I did not worry about my life at that moment and the only thing I could think about was to attempt IVF treatment and to have a baby.When I woke up, I cried, saying, “Did you remove my ovaries?”My family could come only after the surgery was finished. My husband arrived the following day. The doctor told me, “Now you do not have any problems. You can get pregnant naturally.” We waited for a year but it did not happen.

EVEN DONATION WAS RECOMMENDED

Meanwhile, while chatting with a friend of mine I learned that we were going through the same problem. Ülkü had an ectopic pregnancy and had to try IVF. She had learned the address of the Bahçeci Clinic from a friend of hers who had a baby through IVF. She offered to go to the clinic with me so we could try together. I was not ready but I went with her anyway. She had twins on the first attempt. She begged me and insisted, ”You have to go too.” Her babies Alp and Ahmet gave me an extraordinarily positive energy. Since my best friend had babies through IVF, my trust in this method increased. I set my heart and mind on having a baby. It wasn’t possible to turn back!

The Bahçeci Clinic was in the back of my mind. I talked with my doctor at GATA and he recommended another doctor to me. That doctor told me, “You have tried so many times, with low-quality eggs and low-quality embryos. Your chances arevery low. You should try donation.” He also added, “It is better than adoption; it is the last step before adoption. We do it in Belgium. We took the eggs from young people.” We did not go there to hear things like this. He did not even examine me. He just said we did not have a chance. We talked at length. “We are ready for this,” my husband said as soon as we left the office. He did not want it at all. I cried for hours behind my eyeglasses on the pier in Kadıkoy. My hope was now destroyed. I was told, “You cannot have a baby, you have to use somebody else’s eggs.” I couldn’t talk to my husband for a whole week.

WE ALL CAME TO THE WORLD FROM A SINGLE EGG AND A SINGLE SPERM

I was going to Ülkü’s house to see her twins frequently. Finally, I talked with my husband and said, “Let’s go to Bahçeci Clinic.” We went there and related all we had gone through to Dr. Bahçeci. We said to him, “We are very difficult patients. Should we try or give up?” Dr. Bahçeci answered, “We all came to the world from a single egg and a single sperm. We have patients who had a baby with a single egg or a single sperm. You will certainly try. Today the treatment protocols are shorter and you will use much fewer medications. You won’t get as tired.” We even asked, “Should we go abroad?” His answer was, “All techniques available in the U.S.A. are used here as well, with the same technological equipment. It will cost you $40,000 there but only $4,000 here. You will succeed with resolution and ambition.”

In 2004, we started with the Bahçeci Clinic. 2 embryos developed. One was of good quality. I was talking with everybody on the team. I was frequently visiting the infertility psychologist. She told me, “Do not burden your mind with numbers. We have patients with 30 eggs but of low quality”. A transfer was done but the result was negative. Ironically, you don’t give up! We tried again 3 months later. I would sit by the phone and wait for the results. The telepathy I felt then was great. You wait and they call. They called from the laboratory and said the embryo was bad. I called the team psychologist crying,“What will I do? And my husband does not want a donor.” The psychologist told me, “There may be a metabolic problem,” and recommended that I talk with Dr. Murat Berksoy from the Bahçeci team. I visited him with my husband. We went through so many things that we want to forget,” we said. Dr. Berksoy was the Family Physician and Infertility Dietician of the team. He weighed and measured me. He had me do some tests and analyses. He asked about any family history of disease. He was saying that there must be something that was affecting the quality of the egg. He patiently provided many examples, relating various patient stories.I reminded him that I even had PGT done.

The tests revealed that I had hypoglycemia, which means I was susceptible to diabetes. Dr. Berksoy told me, “Being overweight is also a very important factor. You have to lose weight.” I visited Dr. Berksoy every week from May to October. I think he is a wonderful person. Even if you leave him, he does not leave you. It was as if we were playing a pleasant game. Dr. Berksoy told me that such checkups were being made on patients since 2000 and that the quality of the egg and embryos was observed to improve by controlling diabetes, hypertension and some hormonal factors. It was summer at the time, so I went to my mother’s summer home to visit her. I ate fish for lunch and dinner for two months. I exercised regularly. My resolution surprised even my mother. My doctor was calling me every week.When I returned back to Istanbul in October, I was 65 kg, as targeted, and ready to try again. The team psychologist was also motivating me. In fact, the Bahçeci team became my friends, even my family. When I was in high school, I visited a nursery in Keçiören as a voluntary mother. Now, I was missing children so much.

MEDICAL SUPPORT SHOULD BE ACCOMPANIED BY MORAL SUPPORT

We restarted the treatment for umpteenth time: 3 eggs were obtained and 3 embryos were transferred. It was a Monday and we set off to the hospital to learn the result. Dr. Berksoy called me and asked, “Where are you? Are you coming?” He said he was praying for us. I could not believe it.

I could not hope for better support, both medically and morally. I still love him very much.As soon as we arrived at the hospital, I gave blood in the laboratory and then we almost ran out to Istiklal Avenue. After a while, my husband’s phone rang. He said “Okay,” then turned to me and said, “You’re pregnant.” We were crying all along the avenue and crying when we entered the hospital; the security guards and everybody else were looking at us. We ran to the office of Dr. Murat Berksoy and I hugged him, sobbing. He told me that the values were high and it might be multiple pregnancies. I could not believe what I heard. Three weeks later, an ultrasound was performed. I was having triplets.Meanwhile we had been struggling for one… It was like a miracle! Afterwards, one of the babies did not survive. We did not say anything to our families until we heard the heartbeats. We had been advised to get a donation; now we arrived here! We could not believe it for months. I am now in the seventh month of my pregnancy and have gained 13 kilograms. Since this is a twin pregnancy, I am under strict observation. And I still comply with Mr. Murat Berksoy’s list about what to eat. I came to this point because of my resolution and tenacity.

I am ready for sleepless nights, for staying up endlessly, for diaper expenses and for running after my children!!! I wandered around for 13 years. My friend Ülkü lent me a hand and I did not lose hope thanks to her and her babies. There is a patient from Eskisehir who I met during the treatment period. We became very close and we still talk on phone. Now, I will lend a hand to her… I want to host her in my house. I want to give her moral support. This is a matter of emotional exchange! We pass strength from hand to hand.